Being Careful of Our Goals

We`ve been in renovation for a while now. Partly it`s because we moved into a "fixer-upper". And partly it's renovations from the tornado last year.

This morning over coffee, my husband remarked that there are lots of people that would be crazy living in constant renovation like this - that he was glad we weren't like that.

Hmm... The truth is that we are definitely kind of slack about these kinds of things. Maybe it was 17 years of living on a dairy farm where the work was never-ending has burned us out. Or maybe we're just too busy to get too wrapped up in it. But the truth is, I don't want to miss out on REAL LIFE because we've set a renovation goal.

I had a really weird thought last August on the day of the tornado.  As my daughter and I were coming up out of our basement and we saw the devastation all around us, it was horrible to see all of our neighbours' houses destroyed (ours only had minor damage).

Now, the mind is a weird thing and I don't know when I actually had this thought (and I know that this has nothing to do with them personally - that it's my stuff), but I remember looking across the road at our friends' house which was destroyed. It was a cute little wartime home that they had really spruced up inside - it was really lovely. Well, our friends were devastated. They had just grabbed their infant daughter out of her bed just in time before her room was filled with debris and glass. It was a horrible time for them...

And what goes through my mind? "Man, I hope that they didn't bust their butts getting the house cleaned and fixed up that morning."

I know it's sick and ridiculous. But that moment has haunted me ever since.

That thought haunts me every time I get antsy about getting a job finished. You know the time - when something in your brain says "You should get "this" job done. You just have to put your mind to it. You just have to get the kids helping. You just have to get your priorities straight. Don't you want to get this done? Wouldn't it be nice to live in a finished house?..."

But some days, I just don't feel like it... finishing just feels hard... I'd rather relax or hang out with the kids or go to the beach...But now, on those days when "The General" in my head starts to lecture me, I think about my friends' beautiful little house and I think, "What if we make ourselves miserable getting it done and it all gets blown away in a tornado?"

Eventually a day comes where we truly WANT to work on the renovations. And often, there is some interesting new thoughts that inspire us to do something slightly different than we would've done if we'd pushed and things turn out even better than we'd expected.

The truth is, I think that the destruction of the tornado and the suffering of everyone around us really helped me to get my priorities in line.

For the first six months, I walked out of my house into a war zone. For the last few months, thank goodness, it's a construction zone. And every time it reminds me how transient our "stuff" is. It reminds me to really focus on the things that matter - for me, relationships, personal growth and the pursuit of joy.

And sometimes that joy is truly painting a wall and laying new flooring. But it is definitely crystal clear when it isn't. And I'm not giving up ENJOYING MY LIFE just to get the job done. :)