Confessions of a Newbie Nudist #2

So, it's day three on the "clothing optional beach". By this time, we were relaxed enough to really enjoy ourselves. In fact, all kinds of funny thoughts were now allowed to run through my mind (and out my mouth). I would be lying there doing a Logic Puzzle and I'd turn to Wayne and say, "Hey Wayne! Guess what? I'm doing a Logic Puzzle on the beach TOTALLY NAKED!!"  Bahahahaha!!!

Then, the fireman from Illinois on the chaise lounge next to me would strike up a conversation. An hour later, I would roll over and say to Wayne, "Hey Wayne!! Guess what? I just talked for an hour to a naked man who WASN'T YOU!!!"  Bahahahahaha!!!!

Soon, I was able to actually look at people's bodies (not just at their eyes). The amazing thing is that it was really nice. There were old people and young. There were heavy and skinny. But the amazing thing is that none of it mattered. Sure, there was the odd woman with a "perfect" body and fake boobs. (Did I look at them? Sure I did. She was my age. After nursing two children and 40+ years of gravity, mine just don't look like that. It was like staring at an alien or something... something just wasn't right...  But to each his own... It's all good.)

What was really interesting was how the women appeared so different. Bathing suits "cut us up" into legs, belly, boobs, etc. We are able to be critical and say "My legs have cellulite" or "my belly is fat", or "my boobs are too small", etc. But I wonder if this is just because we "frame" these parts with a bathing suit. Because once you're naked, you're just naked. You become this "whole" person. And the women - old or young - heavy or skinny - just looked like beautiful women. They were whole. They were just wonderful specimens of femininity. You had to look pretty closely and critically to see the sagging breasts or skin or cellulite. Of course it was there. But for me, it all got lost in the whole, beautiful picture.

Then there were the men. Sorry guys, but naked men aren't quite as physically interesting. Basically take off the swimming trunks and you just add a couple of extra parts - nothing particularly intriguing happens from a sight perspective. What IS profound though is how once a man is naked, there seems to be an amazing "leveling of the playing field". There is no posturing (I mean you can't posture while you're naked..). There is no hierarchy of social positions. There just isn't the need for the "false machismo" and stuff. They were just naked men and everyone was in the same boat.

The result of this was this amazingly relaxed atmosphere.

Then add to this relaxed atmosphere, nakedness everywhere. I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a sexual component. But even though we were surrounded by sexuality, there was none of the pressure or tension that normally accompanies it. It felt like the most natural and healthy thing.

Truthfully, I miss it. There was something so natural, relaxed and freeing about the whole experience. I highly recommend it - definitely worth being on your bucket list.

Confessions of a Newbie Nudist #1

The truth is that I specifically chose the resort "Breezes" in Negril, Jamaica because it had a "clothing optional" beach. Call it something on my bucket list - some strange exhibitionist desire - some rebellion against "the Man"? Whatever, at some point in my life, I was going to attend some kind of nudist resort. And here was my chance!

Truthfully, my husband Wayne had his doubts - and so did I!! The first day that we were at the resort was a write-off due to travelling anyway, but we would sneak by the corridor that led to the "clothing optional" area and take the odd peak in - saw a bit of skin...just enough to make us nervous.

On Day Two, after a "few" rum punches, we packed our bag (with what you ask? SUNSCREEN!!!!) and headed over!!  As we rounded the corner that led between the buildings, suddenly there they were!! Naked bodies everywhere (excuse my 10-year-old-ness here... just telling the facts!)!! Tall naked bodies drinking beer at the bar, naked bodies sitting by the hot tub, naked bodies walking along the beach... Honestly, it's not that I mind seeing nakedness - I actually like it... But my brain had never quite seen SO MUCH!! It was kind of blowing my mind.

So, we tried not to look at anyone and hurried through the bar/pool/hottub area to find a secluded place on the beach where we could be inconspicuous. (??) So, we found our chaise lounges, laid out our towels, looked at each other with a kind of shared fear, took a mutual deep breath and took our clothes off and laid down.

So, we'd done it. We were now officially naked on a beach with a whole pile of strangers. My mind was absolutely reeling - with what? Who knows? With every shred of self-consciousness I had ever felt in my life. As a naturally shy person, this was blowing my mind. So, I closed my eyes and just tried to enjoy the wonderful feeling of sun on skin... Aaahhh...

Just as I was totally relaxed, I looked up to see a fully clothed waiter standing over me with those beautiful, relaxed Jamaican smiles asking me if I wanted a drink. "No, I'm fine"... And another of my brain cells popped - how could I talk to people who worked there who were fully clothed while I was totally naked? Bloody hell!!

It's funny how being on the beach actually turned into a Buddhist Koan for me. In Buddhism, students are given sayings called koans that will hopefully cause their brains to disengage long enough to let them experience true reality. Well, every moment that I spent on that beach fully disengaged my brain. It is impossible to describe the effect on my mind except that my normal rational mind simply couldn't make sense of it - and so my brain truly went on vacation as well!!

Stay tuned for more stories from "the beach"!!