Finding Meaningful Work - Or Not?

I have been thinking about the number of people I know who have been laid off from work and are struggling to find meaningful employment. We want something that fits our passions and joys - something that really makes us want to get up and get out there each day.

But what if 're looking too hard? What if there is work all around us.. but it's up to us to make it meaningful?

I'm all about finding your ideal job that perfectly matches your gifts and strengths. This is the ideal situation. But what if that job isn't out there right now? What if you can't make enough money at your passion to pay the bills? What then?

The funny thing is that there are dangers to making your job the compilation of your passions. We love the idea of taking what you love to do and spending all day working at it and making money - "being paid to do what you love" - it's the big dream. But this puts tremendous pressure on your passions. Suddenly you can't do the things that you love to do with the same carefree joy and creativity because you always have to be considering "Will they buy it?", "Is it consumable to the public?", "Is it good enough?", etc. Often, the focus of putting food on the table completely squelches the creative process that we enjoy about it in the first place.

So what do we do? Do we just get any old job and make the best of it?

Perhaps the answer is YES.

We often focus on the external aspects of our lives and work. We look at the people around us, where we live, where we work, who our relatives are, what our education is, how much money we have, etc. But what if the most interesting thing going on is actually deep inside of us? What if it is the inner journey that is the most exciting regardless of what is going on on the outside?

What if we brought our personality, joy and sense of abundance to ANY job that we had. What if those things were what we were growing and working on each moment of our day? Suddenly it wouldn't matter whether we were driving a taxi cab, teaching grade 6, or being a rocket scientist. We would still be bringing OURSELVES to each moment of the job. We would still be finding joy (or not) in each new experience.

Regardless of where we work, our experience is simply OUR experience. The actual job has very little to do with how much we enjoy it. Whether we want to enjoy it is what defines our experience of it. It's all up to us.

This is the problem with always trying to find the PERFECT job. Underlying this goal is the belief that "once we find the perfect job, we will be happy." This statement is just as false as "Once I find the right man, I will be happy" and "Once I have a child, I will be happy", or the infamous "Once I lose 30 pounds, I will be happy." None of these statements are true. And their belief will lead you down a perpetual road of always longing for things to be different.

Being happy is a state of being. Being happy is a choice.

I'm always entertained by the stories of sages who work at menial jobs. They always have a sparkle of youth and joy in their eyes - like they know something that we don't - like they are a little entertained by the idea that we think that we will find happiness somewhere outside of ourselves - that we think that what we do for a living matters SO MUCH...

Being happy doesn't come from finding the perfect job. It comes from choosing to be entertained by whatever life throws at us. Could be drama, could be hard work, could be a low paycheque. Or it could be learning, growth, and great friendships.

What we do with it is entirely up to us. :)

Intuition

What is intuition anyway?

Intuition is a new way to navigate through this world.

We have been trained that we can use our brains and intellect to find our ideal path - that we can study the options, find the optimal one and be confident in the desired outcome. We do this in how we act in marriage, raising kids, work, and every aspect of our lives. Our brains rule. We trust the "facts", the numbers, and the analysis.

The problem is that the real world isn't like that. We cannot guarantee our outcomes no matter how much research and intelligence that we apply to the problem

The Scientific Side

(feel free to skip this section if the idea makes your eyes roll back in your head)

Modern sciences distinguish between linear and non-linear systems. A bridge or a car tend to be linear systems - we know all of the pieces, how they work, how they interact and what the purposes are of each piece and function. We can analyse the situation, dissect it, figure it out, and find the ideal solution. It's all very possible, reasonable and intelligent.

Non-linear systems are things like weather and ecosystems. We can observe what we can. But in reality, there are so many variables - some we can observe and others that we haven't even seen yet - that we can't begin to predict what would happen at any time (this is actually quite a lengthy discussion that I thoroughly enjoy having that might get added to this website one day).

Using logic and intelligence with non-linear systems doesn't work because we don't know or understand all of the variables and the causal agents.

Human beings are non-linear systems.

Explanation for Mortals:

Our physical bodies are so phenomenally complex, that we can't pretend to understand how they all work, let alone the infinitely complex interplay between all of the moving parts. Then there is our mind filled with ideas, ideals, thoughts, fears, emotions, dreams, wonder, and so much more. How do they all interact? Then there is spirit? How does that work and how does it affect all of these other things.

Then let's look at our relationships - marriage, children, parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, & neighbours (close and far). There's our jobs, finances, life-long dreams, challenges,...

How can we possibly know the effect that any decision that we make could have on ALL of these things?

The truth is that we can't. The ripple effect of all of our decisions is infinite and impossible to know. This is where intuition comes in.

Our Actual Navigation System:

We weren't meant to navigate using our brains. The reality is that the smarter we are, the more impossible it is to use our brains to make decisions because we can see both sides. The dafter we are, the easier it is. But once you can see both sides, how do you make a choice.

We have to navigate through an inner guidance system. Some call it intuition, divine guidance, gut instincts, the "little voice", our Highest Self, Inner Wisdom, and the whispers of our soul. I call it all of these things.

In order to trust this inner wisdom, you must believe that it comes from something that understand the "whole". Science says that we consciously use less than 5% of our brain. Perhaps that inner guidance system has access to 100%. Spiritually, maybe it is directly hooked into a general consciousness that understands the big picture. Or maybe it's our direct link to God - and the whisperings are our answered prayers - guidance from the "Big Guy/Gal".

Regardless of what we imagine it is or where it comes from, I went through an experience that I wrote about in my book "What If You Could Skip the Cancer?" which required me to turn off my brain and follow that inner voice. I had to listen to guidance from somewhere else - somewhere other than where I'd been listening up until that point. The result was a miraculous healing and the beginning of a new way of seeing the world and navigating through it.

I can tell you of a thousand seredipitous events, continuous miracles appearing in my life - in big ways and very small ways. When I live this way, I never know what's coming, and life is amazingly entertaining!!

The only way to know this is to try it. My experience won't help anyone unless it inspires them to try it on their own.

This is why I love teaching about intuition. It's such a juicy way to live. I love counselling individuals and teaching it to groups. It is a cornerstone of yoga and meditation because it is intrinsically part of how humans are naturally meant to operate in a peaceful, calm, and joyful way.

(I am in the midst of revamping my website. I will posting various things like this that will go on my site one day soon.)

Growing Younger Every Day

What if our bodies don’t have to break down as we age? What if this is just an idea that society has because that is what we tend to see happen? But what if it isn't the way it has to be? What if we can become physically stronger, fitter, and healthier with each coming year?

I completed my first triathlon last weekend in Bala, Ontario. Yay!!! It was a 750m swim, 30km bike ride and 7.5km run. I started training in January when my sisters and I (insipired by the Biggest Loser TV show) decided that we should each work towards doing this triathlon. Since none of us are athletic in any way, this was a huge stretch - but a good one.

One of the most inspiring things about the triathlon was the ages of the people competing. There were a few teenagers and twenty-somethings. But mostly, we were 30,40, 50-years old and even quite a few in their sixties! I know this specifically because they write your age on your calf in magic marker and being a relatively non-athletic type, many people passed me in the race - I had lots of chances to see the backs of people’s legs!! (I actually finished last in the race - but finish I did!!).

Later, after the race was over, I was looking at my stats online - how long it took for the swim, the bike, etc. And I thought to myself, "Well, I can do better than that. If I just do this and that, I can definitely shave some time off there." And suddenly this triathlon thing became a yearly goal. I thought to myself, "What if I don't have to become a triathlete in one year? What if I can gradually get better each year?"

But this goes against everything that we've ever learned! Once we’re “over the hill”, our bodies are supposed to get worse each year, not better. People gain a few pounds each year. We don't become fitter. This is against North American-culture!!

But the funny thing is that I expect all other aspects of myself to improve with age. Mentally, I expect myself to become smarter and wiser. There's no greater teacher than life experience. If we're paying attention, wisdom is the direction we're heading.

We should become more emotionally intelligent each year. We should be able to understand and be compassionate in more situations. We should be able to be honest with ourselves and others easier every year.

Spiritually, I expect to become more intuitive. We should be more peaceful and connected to the world around us. We should hear guidance and trust the callings that come to us. With each year, this should become easier to do.

So why wouldn't we expect the same from our physical bodies? Why wouldn't we expect to become fitter each year? If we’re overweight, why wouldn't we expect to lose a few pounds each year - improving all of the time? Why wouldn't we be more tuned in to what our bodies need nutritionally? Why wouldn't our bodies continue to get better with age?

The problem is that our beliefs about aging can be self-fulfilling prophecies. We have a belief that we die because our bodies break down. But what if we die because it’s just our time? What if we can be totally healthy until the end?

There's a story about a lady that they call "The Iron Nun" who competes in triathlons. She's 80 years old this year and is still doing IronMan Triathlons - 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride and a 26-mile run. She's 80!!

I like it. I like the idea of improving each year - of getting better with age in every way!! And so, I am going to do a little experiment with the universe. I'm going to test the theory. What if I could improve every year? What if growing older can mean growing better. I'm going to give it a go.

Care to join me?

The Newbie Triathletes post-race- Cori, Wayne, and me

2010: A Year of (Im)Possibilities

There are things that we believe that we could never do - things that deep down we believe are impossibilities.

But what if they aren’t impossible?  What if you really could find a job that you loved?  What if you could be really healthy?  What if you could heal the rift between you and your spouse/child/parent/friend/neighbour?  What if you could actually be slim and trim?  What if you could do anything that you put your mind to?

Well, this year, I have decided to do something that previously I would have believed impossible.

I am going to participate in a Triathlon in July 2010!!

I don’t know how it happened.  But somehow over the holidays, my sisters and I decided that the three of us would do a Triathlon.

What makes this so impossible, you ask?  Well, none of us are athletes.  In fact, we’re quite a long way from athletic.  We’re more the “sitting-on-the-couch-with-a-cup-of-tea-solving-the-world’s-problems” types.  Athletic?  Absolutely not!

In fairness, all three of us are pretty decent swimmers.  We can all get on a bike (if we can find one) and ride it.  We are all capable of walking.  But running?  Biking for any great distance?  Those are things that deep down, we truly believed were absolute impossibilities.

But then came the show, “The Biggest Loser”.  On the surface, it’s a reality TV show about a bunch of very obese people losing weight.  But there is so much more going on.  It has totally turned my brain inside out.  I just love it. 

Why you ask?  Because it breaks through the beliefs that limit all of us in our lives every day.  As the on-screen trainers push the contestants in their workouts, the common cry is, “I CAN’T!  I CAN’T DO IT ANY MORE”.  And the reply is always, “Yes you can.  You can do anything that you put your mind to!”

Many of these contestants have good reason to believe that this isn’t true.  Many had very painful, difficult childhoods.  Some had traumatic events that they couldn’t get over.  Others just couldn’t handle the day-to-day pressures of marriage, kids, and paying the bills.  These are very common situations – common situations that can leave us believing that there are many things that we can’t do – that we are out of control in our lives – that giving up is a reasonable reaction based on the crazy world we live in.

But then you see these people have breakthroughs.  They start to get to the bottom of their emotional and mental blocks.  They start to believe that they CAN do anything that they put their mind to - and you start to see the pounds drop off.  You start to see their outlook changing.  They start to shift from victims to victors.  The weight loss is secondary to the phenomenal inner healing that happens.  (Did I mention how much I love this show?)

So what does this have to do with me doing a triathlon?

Well, this season the final contestants had to complete a marathon near the end of the show – a mere 16 weeks after they started!!  Some of these people started out over 450 pounds!!  And many of them were still 300+ pounds when they did the marathon!!

We would normally believe this to be impossible.  This just doesn’t happen.  Only skinny “runner-types” do marathons!!  We know this to be true.  The rest of us CAN’T run marathons, right?  We are sure that this is true.

So to watch these people complete the race just turns our brains inside out!  And to see the joy and the victory and the immense feeling of satisfaction that they had after the race!!  Such a gift to us!!

Why is it a gift?  Because we got to watch someone break through the belief that they couldn’t do something.  We got to watch the same feelings of inadequacies and lack of control in their lives as we struggle with all of the time.  And they changed those feelings and beliefs.  They now know that they really can do anything that they put their mind to – that there are no such things as impossibilities!!!  Imagine!

And so, as we begin 2010, let’s ponder our impossibilities?  What are the things in our lives that we’d love to have or to change but deep down, we don’t believe are possible? 

Let’s challenge those beliefs.  Let’s imagine that nothing is impossible.

Hey, if I can do a triathlon, anything’s possible!

The Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine

I had a wonderful chat with a lady named Beverly Vote last week. She stumbled upon my website looking for something else, found out about my book, sent me an email, I sent her a book, she really liked it, and we made contact last week.

It turns out that Beverly is the publisher of "Breast Cancer Wellness" magazine. It is a free magazine (alas, only available in print in the States) but is available for free download at: www.breastcancerwellness.org.

The mission of her magazine is "to empower breast cancer healing journeys with education, inspiration, and encouragement using
mind-body-spirit and whole-being wellness principles."

She said that my book just blew her hair back!!! She said that it was just what she had been looking for to help her to make some interesting steps in the future of her magazine. She even said that on the previous day, she told one of her sales reps that if everyone would just read my book, then she wouldn't even need the magazine!!! How cool is that??

We had a lovely conversation where I found out that Bernie Siegel (who gave the endorsement on my book's front cover) sits on her advisory board. Olivia Newton John was on their last magazine's cover and is apparently a really lovely, down-to-earth woman!!

We talked for nearly two hours about how we can work together going forward. We aren't sure yet. But it will come to us. It is very exciting.

The funny this is that although I teach, give seminars, and do many very social things, a large part of me is actually quite introverted. The selling of the book is hard for me. I don't want to convince people to buy it. (I don't want to convince people of anything, really)  I just want people to have the book and be able to read it so that it can either speak to them or not.

So, the idea that Beverly was totally moved and inspired by my book and would like to take it places just makes my introverted heart so thrilled. And the fact that she has such wonderful connections as Bernie Siegel, Olivia Newton John, and her other phenomenal networks in the cancer world, just blows me away!!

I don't know where this will take us.  But I'm sure that it will be wonderful!!

Katrina

The Joys of Doing Something Badly

So what would you like to try that’s new? What have you always wanted to do, but just never got around to it? What has that little voice been asking for that you’ve been ignoring up until this point?

What about writing poetry, or playing basketball, or dancing, or art. What about learning a new language or playing the violin?

Whatever it is, my recommendation is to do it—but don’t try to be good at it. Who has time for that? My advice is to get out there and do whatever it is – and do it badly!

Here’s a true story. A couple of years ago, a friend of mine came over to my house and saw that I had a guitar.

“Hey, can I play your guitar?” she asked.

“Sure. I didn’t know that you played.”

“Oh, yes. I’ve been playing badly for years.”

It probably took me about ten minutes to figure out what she had said. She’s played badly for years? What was she talking about? I knew all of the words that she had used in the sentence. But put together, the sentence just didn’t make any sense.

The problem is that we seldom do anything that we aren’t good at. We are taught from an early age that only those who are good at things actually get to play. We learn in school that only the best athletes actually play on the sports teams. The rest of us watch and cheer them on.

Only the best singers get to sing in the choir. The rest of us watch and enjoy the music. Only the smart kids go on the debate teams, take part in spelling bees, and take funky tests named after famous Mathematicians. And the rest of us… well we don’t watch, cheer or enjoy… (Being smart isn’t quite so glamorous!)

Eventually we learn that if we aren’t good at it then we don’t do it. So as life goes on and we get jobs, families, and other responsibilities, we find our free time quickly consumed with watching TV – continuing our pattern of watching other people do things!!

But is that any fun? What happened to the fun in life? When do we get to do things just for kicks? Why do we have to be good at things in order to do them?

We aren’t being graded anymore. Our team doesn’t have to win the championship! Us not being fantastic at something has absolutely no effect on anything or anyone at all. So what’s our problem?

When I first saw the motion picture “Mamma Mia”, I was shocked at who they picked for actors and actresses – not because of their acting abilities – but because they had to sing—a lot!! And most of the actors simply weren’t great singers. But sing they did!!

The funny thing is that now we own the movie and do you know which parts I love the most? The less-than-fantastic singing!! Pierce Brosnan belts out his songs with this Bruce-Springsteen-meets-Clint-Eastwood kind of voice. But he puts so much passion and heart into it, that his songs are some of my favourite parts of the show.

And the whole movie is like that. Is the choreography great? Not really. It’s kind of quirky and strange – but the dancers are having so much fun, that you just have to watch it over and over again. It’s so quirky and that we can relate to it.

Our society suffers from a serious fun deficiency. There is so much pressure to achieve and be the best that, in the end, only kids are allowed to have any fun. But we can change that. We can start doing things that we love without having the pressure of having to be good at them.

We can choose to play basketball with our kids even though we were the ones on the debate team. We can play the guitar because we like the way it sounds, not because we have dreams of sounding like Santana. We can take a painting class because we love the colours and the way the brush feels as it flows over the canvas without any plans of fame or recognition.

We can take some sage advice from Ms. Frizzle on the Magic School Bus. “Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!!”

It’s time to have some fun!

(This column was first published in the Goderich Signal Star in March, 2009)

The Joys of the Six O’Clock News

I don’t normally watch the news.

It was probably twenty years ago that I decided that a daily update of the number of homicides, rapes and car accidents in Toronto just didn’t seem to be adding much to my life. My opinion of the Six O’clock News became quite cynical. I felt it was “too sensational”. It seemed like they only reported the bad stuff and therefore, we were given an overly negative, inaccurate and incomplete portrayal of what was going on in the world.

And so, my news updates have tended to consist of whatever I hear in the car on my way to work in the morning and that has been fine with me.

But a few weeks ago, I was at my dad’s place and the Six O’Clock News appeared before my eyes. As I watched stories of the men who drowned in Toronto and the young boy who was killed in a drive-by shooting and the solders who had been killed overseas, a great new realization hit me: “Thank God this is what they’re reporting on the Six o’clock news!!”

How lucky are we that we live in a country where we still think that someone being killed is newsworthy? There are many places in the world where people of all ages are killed every day and it is simply considered a part of life.

There was a clip about the rescue attempts of a man in Toronto who had been fishing and fell into the river. Divers worked all day trying to find him. Paramedics were on hand in the hopes that they found him alive. In the end, they just worked hard to find the body so that there could be a proper burial. How many places in the world wouldn’t or couldn’t go to such lengths for a single man’s life?

There were stories of assault, robbery, illegal drug operations, car accidents and violence in the schools. In a world that we are led to believe is going down the tubes, that these things are still newsworthy says that they still shock and upset us. This is a good sign.

And what about the traffic? Lots of news about commuters stuck in traffic jams each morning and evening. Terrible, eh? Just think of all these industrious people in their cars going to and from their jobs each day making a living so that they can raise families, pay taxes and have financial independence. Hmm, not the worst problem to have to deal with.

And think of the great lengths we go to in order to find missing children. And what about all the magazines covered with stories about Brittany Spears and whether or not she is a fit mother for her two little boys? Is it ridiculous and sensational to follow around this poor woman with binoculars and dissect her life with a microscope? Yes. But the fact that her fitness for motherhood is so phenomenally newsworthy, tells us that as a society, we still believe that the welfare of children is important.

And then we get to hear about relationships like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. We hear about their fights (real or not), their break-ups (true or not) and their angry ex-girlfriends (angry or not). Apparently we find couples having issues worth reading about. Or maybe we just like that fact that extremely beautiful, successful people have the same problems that we do. In the end, the fact remains that we still think that relationships matter. Otherwise, no one would care. The general public would just say, “Oh, just break up already and spend your life alone. It’s better that way!”. But we don’t. We want the relationships to work. We want people to be happy. This is a good thing.

It would seem that watching the Six O’clock News shows us that, as a society, we still believe that being good to others, caring for our children, education, peace-keeping, relationships, working hard, and preserving life is important to us.

I think that this is a good sign.

(This column was originally published in the Goderich Signal Star in September, 2008)